My little lulu belle is 3 and let me tell you she is head strong, I mean seriously she only does what she wants. Being her momma requires truck loads of patience, and sometimes it gets very hard, but today I remembered 1 key thing and it has been a good day
The key word there is without getting angry, which requires a lot of help and quite frankly prayer.
My little one likes to hit me and throw things when she doesn’t get her way, oh yes she threw the remote just a few days ago, and as you can imagine I would want to yell and scream, but I didn’t. Instead I hugged her, it seems counterproductive, but it worked. She cried but she also calmed down.I didn’t give her what she wanted, but I let her know I loved her. I explained that I knew she was upset but my decision about the candy wouldn’t change.
*Have patience– Remember they are smaller then you, they will tire more easily, move slower and understand less. My girls are smart (not bragging) and sometimes when my 5 year old tells me about where her esophagus is I forget she is not 16. But if I have patience I can more easily remember her needs.I was doing dishes with Lulu and she was splashing the water out of the sink, taking a good 3 minutes to rinse the dishes, mixing clean and dirty dishes and rewashing things, so it took me about 4 times as long. But it was better then her watching a movie while I did them myself, and when she looked at me and said, “this wouldn’t be any fun without you” my heart melted.
*Don’t yell, unless there is an emergency– Seriously this one is hard, I yell all the time and mostly just so I don’t have to walk into the other room, but I have noticed a difference since I have been working on this one.
*Talk to your kids– Don’t treat them like babies, talk to them and explain things. Funny story- We recently got a new toilet, it is the kind with the dual-flush button on top. My Leila would always leave the bathroom without flushing the toilet, so when I was helping her one time I said “you need to flush” and she got a surprised look on her face and said “look momma, it’s missing” as she pointed to where a toilet handle would be. I realized that we had installed the toilet and never explained to her how to use it, I was getting annoyed about her lack of flushing skills and she didn’t even know how.
*Give them choices– I let my girls choose between outfits, foods,activities, even consequences so they feel they have some control. I choose the options but they make the final decision.
*Let them know they are LOVED– Tell them all the time, tell them so much they get sick of hearing it. Tell them especially when they frustrate or upset you, so if not to remind them at least to remind yourself.
*Listen to them– Take your face out of the screen and talk to your little ones. When they talk to you look them in the eye and listen. Take a moment, stop what you are doing, and give them your attention.
*Be consistent– By far the hardest of the bunch (for me at least). Kids crave consistency, seriously they look to you to make decisions, if you are consistent with your parenting, they will grow up knowing what you are going to do, say or how you will react. It will help guide them.I have a few tips that I have picked up along the parenting journey, I am in no ways an expert, and I don’t know your situation but these work for me.
Once again I am no parenting expert, but I hope these tips can help you have a little more peace with your kiddos, I know writing it helped remind me.
La Maman Heureuse says
thanks for sharing. I have a similar very headstrong little girl, so i can totally relate and it was nice to read your tips and realise I'm doing it ok š
my heart melted when I read about doing the dishes and the comment your little girl made to you, I love these moments, if only we could bottle them for later on š
Unknown says
All of your tips I am constantly struggling with. Except for the one about telling them you love them. Even after I scold my child, I tell him I love him and always will no matter what.
Great post!
-rekita